Living in God’s Presence includes Denying Self
Just as repentance brings God’s presence, denying self keeps us living in God’s presence.
“Whoever wants to be my disciple must deny themselves and take up their cross daily and follow me. For whoever wants to save their life will lose it, but whoever loses their life for me will find it.” ~ Matthew 16:24-25 NIV
I was recently offended by someone, and I felt that a conflict might arise from interacting with this person as I thought of ways to set healthy boundaries. Even though I focused on the conflict resolution aspect of the relationship and interaction with this person, I began to build some anger in my heart, and I was not denying self.
The details of the situation are not important, but I needed to deal with the building anger so that my heart would not become hardened towards this person.
What does a hardened heart have to do with living in God’s presence and denying self? A hardened heart is one of many self-love symptoms, and a hardened heart separates us from living in God’s presence. A hardened heart can only be cured by denying yourself, so what does denying yourself mean?
Denying yourself is the opposite of self-love
Self-love is the opposite of denying self. Self-love includes selfishness and pride, and the extreme example of self-love is narcissism. The center of self-love are thoughts about “I” and “me.”
Self-love works in a couple of different ways. First, self-love says that control will bring the outcome that I want. Nagging and sarcastic comments meant to make someone do something you want is a definite sign of the self-love demonstrated through control.
Secondly, self-love says that if I do not get what is best for me, then I will harden my heart towards a situation or a person. If I harden my heart towards someone, I can either enter a complaining pattern or distance myself out of false protection. Oftentimes, complaining is the road to a hardened heart.
While Pharaoh is the obvious example of a Biblical character full of self-love and a hard heart, we will look at a different character today: Peter.
Yes, I am talking about the very same Peter who walked on water out of faith, and Jesus said to Peter in Matthew 16:18 NIV, “And I tell you that you are Peter, and on this rock I will build my church, and the gates of Hades will not overcome it.”
After he calls Peter a rock, he tells his disciples about the upcoming events leading to the crucifixion. Jesus talks to the disciples about what he will suffer and how he will die. However, Peter does not want this to happen because he believes that Jesus has come to establish an earthly kingdom, not a heavenly kingdom.
“Peter took him aside and began to rebuke him. ‘Never, Lord!’ he said. ‘This shall never happen to you!’ Jesus turned and said to Peter, ‘Get behind me, Satan! You are a stumbling block to me; you do not have in mind the concerns of God, but merely human concerns.’” ~ Matthew 16:22-23
I can understand Peter’s point of view. He was walking with the real, living Jesus, the Son of God who is about to establish his kingdom. Out of selfishness, Peter does not want to miss this kingdom. Think about how much nagging and complaining Peter did before Jesus corrected him.
This situation is not Peter’s only display of self-love. In Matthew 26, Peter struggles with a hardened heart and disowns Jesus three times. Matthew 26:74 NIV says that Peter “began to call down curses, and he swore to them, ‘I don’t know the man!’”
What does denying yourself mean?
What does denying yourself mean? Denying yourself means clothing yourself with love, contentment, and humility. It includes seeking God’s will over my own will. Denying yourself means to live without self-love, and to love God and love others.
Denying Yourself Scripture
“Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It does not dishonor others, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs.” ~ 1 Corinthians 13:4-5 NIV
“But godliness with contentment is great gain.” ~ 1 Timothy 6:6 NIV
“Do nothing out of selfish ambition or vain conceit. Rather, in humility value others above yourselves.” ~ Philippians 2:3 NIV
“Humble yourselves, therefore, under God’s mighty hand, that he may lift you up in due time.” ~ 1 Peter 5:6 NIV
In 1 Peter 5:6, Peter is writing to the elders of the church about humility. He learned that denying self through God’s Spirit brought humility and contentment. Love, contentment, and humility keep you in God’s presence.
Dear Christian friend, spend some time today asking God to reveal His will and what His will looks like in your life. Ask him to soften your heart towards any person or situation in your life, and ask him to help you learn about denying yourself. Do not get caught up in making your will happen but let God open doors for you to allow His will to be done. Remember, denying self is the only way to remain in God’s presence.
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What a powerful post! It takes trust to deny ourselves and make it all about God’s will, but when we grow spiritually in relationship with Jesus, we learn about His goodness and His character and then we are able to fully trust His will even when we don’t understand or cannot see the whole picture. Thank you for this beautiful post … ❤
The most powerful lessons are taught in the midst of conflict and trial. Thank you Suzanne for drawing us to to the Word and His presence in our lives!
Thank you!
Thank you for this biblical look at denying self. This isn’t a very popular message, but a very accurate look at what the Bible says. Such a great reminder!
Thank you!
Great post. You hear so much about self love it becomes normal for even Christian’s. However, God needs us humble so we will listen to him.
Yes, humility is necessary to hear God’s voice!