Overcoming Perfectionism Through God’s Strength
Recently, I had two college exams. I passed one with flying colors; I barely passed the other. It was my own fault that I did not take time to study, waited till the last minute, and failed to give my all for Jesus (and the list goes on). Still, I was truly repentant of mistakes. I confessed my sin and asked God to forgive me. Even though I knew I was sinless, there still was a nagging in the back of my mind.
If only I…
Why didn’t I…
I should have…
Why wasn’t I perfect?
Overcoming Perfectionism
The real struggle was not my performance, it was my perfectionism. Often, I feel the overwhelming need to confess all my sin as a sinner. Every time I recognize that I sin, or willfully sin, my feelings and soul became jagged with a storm of negative thoughts. Even though I am repentant, I let perfectionism and anxiety make my thoughts and emotions negative and self-defeating.
I let the enemy gain ground in my life by believing the lie that God is only pleased and delighted in those who are perfect, so I tried to overcome perfectionism to please God. However, I was not very good at overcoming perfectionism in my own strength.
I often confess the sin that the Holy Spirit brings to my mind. I trust in Jesus to not only pick up my failures but I trust him to complete the entire process through me. I trust Jesus to love me through my mistakes. I have given up trying to be perfect myself. Instead, I let God, the Perfect One, perfect me and cover my own imperfections. At this very moment, I can say that through the Holy Spirit’s help only, I am overcoming perfectionism.
Even though I fail, I am complete with and in Christ, who is perfect and who covers my imperfections with his perfection. And one day, the work, to make me perfect, will be completed when Jesus returns to Earth.
“Not that I have already obtained this or am already perfect, but I press on to make it my own, because Christ Jesus has made me his own. Brothers, I do not consider that I have made it my own. But one thing I do: forgetting what lies behind and straining forward to what lies ahead, I press on toward the goal for the prize of the upward call of God in Christ Jesus.” -Philippians 3:12-14 ESV
“Being confident of this, that he who began a good work in you will carry it on to completion until the day of Christ Jesus.” -Philippians 1:6 NIV
It is no longer me, with my perfectionism and anxiety; it is Christ in me, who is my perfection and is overcoming perfectionism in my life.
How to Overcome Perfectionism
The first step to overcoming perfectionism is to find out what the roots of your perfectionism are.
I have been dealing with the guilt of perfectionism for years. My perfectionism itself stems from one main thing: not trusting God with my identity and trying to live life in my own strength.
However, when my perfectionism gets ahold of the things I try to do my own way, my identity in Christ suffers, and I become like a broken cistern that cannot hold water. When I put my identity in things or others instead of putting my identity in Christ, I end up attacking this very identity until I return my identity to Christ.
“My people have committed two sins: They have forsaken me, the spring of living water, and have dug their own cisterns, broken cisterns that cannot hold water.” -Jeremiah 2:13 NIV
The root of my perfectionism comes from misplacing identity in my own strength instead of Christ and thinking that God will reject or hate me for not being perfect. When, in reality, that is why Jesus came to Earth: for the sinners, not the saints.
What is the root of perfectionism in your life–is it trying to be the best or making the next achievement? Spend some time praying and asking the Holy Spirit to reveal the root of your perfectionism. It is an important step in overcoming perfectionism.
Mistakes happen for a Reason
Recently, I took a test and did worse than the exam mentioned above; however, I had studied and prepared myself for the test (or I thought I did). I was devastated. After I had finished emailing with my professor, I realized that my feelings of hurt and shame were from putting my identity in my schoolwork and not trusting God to turn bad things into good things.
Why God? Why do I keep making these mistakes? Why do things go wrong even if I do things right?
With perfectionism, I blame myself for things that happen outside of my reach. Sometimes I unknowingly blame God. I get so focused on what I do wrong and its consequences, and vice versa.
The Story of Job: What does the Bible say about perfectionism?
In this life, the story of Job rings true.
Job was a righteous man, but bad things kept happening to him. His friends and family kept telling him that he did something wrong and should repent, or they told him to curse and blame God. Job did neither, he trusted God.
I find myself doing the opposite; I will readily blame myself or unknowingly blame God.
While Job did call on God to answer what was happening to him, he never cursed God.
Everything happens for God’s glory, including my mistakes and sin.
What does the Bible say about perfectionism?
What does the Bible say about perfectionism? Listed below are a few of my favorite bible verses about overcoming perfectionism, trusting God with our identity, and learning that everything happens for a reason.
“May the favor of the Lord our God rest on us; establish the work of our hands for us– yes, establish the work of our hands.” -Psalm 90:17 NIV.
“But he said to me, ‘My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness.’” –2 Corinthians 12:9a ESV.
“Are you so foolish? Having begun by the Spirit, are you now being perfected by the flesh?” -Galatians 3:3 ESV.
“There is therefore now no condemnation for those who are in Christ Jesus. For the law of the Spirit of life has set you free in Christ Jesus from the law of sin and death” -Romans 8:1-2 ESV.
“I have been crucified with Christ. It is no longer I who live, but Christ who lives in me. And the life I now live in the flesh I live by faith in the Son of God, who loved me and gave himself for me.” -Galatians 2:20 ESV.
“And we know that for those who love God all things work together for good, for those who are called according to his purpose.” -Romans 8:28 ESV.
I hope these verses encourage you and strengthen your faith. Write these verses down and read them every day to help you with overcoming perfectionism. This will help you to keep running the good race!
How to Overcome Perfectionism: Grow your Identity in Christ
My perfectionism and anxiety come from not trusting God with my identity. This leads me to put my identity in myself and not in Christ.
In perfectionism, when things end up turning bad, I not only blame myself and my actions, but I misplace my identity. This attack on my identity leaves me unable to forgive myself. Yet, as I grow, I am learning to trust God and the identity He has given me. I am learning to forgive myself and love myself as God does because God loves me. This is all from the Holy Spirit’s work of overcoming perfectionism in my life.
Even though you may not understand what is happening in your life, trust that God is truthful and loving.
He has a plan for you. He cares for you. He can give you peace and understanding for your perfectionism and anxiety.
“Come to me, all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest. Take my yoke upon you and learn from me, for I am gentle and humble in heart, and you will find rest for your souls. For my yoke is easy and my burden is light.” -Matthew 11:28-30 NIV
I cannot tell exactly how to trust God more or to grow your faith, but I can encourage you to pray and ask God who knows everything. He will answer you at the right time.
God says that we are his and that He will never leave our side. Remember that if you have given your life to Christ, you are a prince or princess of Heaven, and He will teach you how to overcome perfectionism.
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